May 29, 2023 – BREAKING NEWS, LIFESTYLE
CURRENTLY held hostage in his friend Phil Grogan’s kitchen, Tom Fangan is subjected to horrendous torture in the form of detailed information on the capabilities of a recently purchased air fryer.
“There it is now,” Grogan said of his prized fryer, as if he’d just pulled the covers off a gorgeous new Ferrari.
“Name a food, come on, any food and I’ll tell you if the air fryer can do it,” Grogan asked, glaring with unprecedented levels of intensity at Fangan who came over only to borrow a drill.
Feeling increasingly pressured to find the air fryer the most interesting thing he’d ever encountered in his life, Fangan feared his safety would be at risk if he didn’t comply with Grogan’s instructions.
“A serious piece is fine,” Fangan said with a feigned half-smile.
“Aw, I guess that would make a bad chili or bolognese or something?” Fangan said politely, unaware that he was listing foods that would kill an air fryer.
Hailing such suggestions as a grave insult, Grogan asked if Fangan was « kicking » as he moved closer and closer and touched the air fryer as if to comfort her.
“Jaysus, I don’t know, that’s some fucking broccoli, Christ,” Fangan said, glancing at the nearest exit as he called out a vegetable the humble air fryer may have trouble with.
Fangan was then forced to stand inches from the air fryer and watch the outside of it eviscerate a pork chop before Grogan let him go about his day, but not without even offering him a bite.
