April 13, 2023 – BREAKING NEWS, LIFESTYLE
A LOCAL man is said to find it difficult to navigate the stormy waters of living together with his girlfriend due to the prominence of his annoying habits.
« I can’t fart, pick my nose, leave skidded boxers on the floor or DM Instagram thirst-trap influencers without her on my bloody case, » beleaguered Eoin Taney explained to friends, who offered a sympathetic ear.
“I knew moving in together would be difficult, but this habit of hers drives me nuts, the way she always points out how I owe her three months of bills, puts my stains on the bathroom mirror and leaves the putrid kitty there. Honestly, she’s a constant guys,” added Taney, a severely intimidated man who is just making the best of her.
Taney admitted that he « probably would have had an ear » if fiancée Jane Malloy also found out about his affair with a co-worker, such is the prolific nature of his habit of pointing out his flaws.
Walking on eggshells, it’s gotten to the point where Taney is even afraid to ask Malloy to help him again forge a medical certificate for him, needed this time so he doesn’t have to take vacation to recover from his midweek hangover. with the boys.
“Don’t shit you guys, I’ll just be there in a K-hole with the front door open and a wild badger in the bathtub and she’ll be like ‘You didn’t think about hovering, did you?’ Like she’s Miss Perfect,” Taney concluded, to incredulous head shakes from her companions.
