A PROPER evening is overdue, but there’s a problem: nobody wants Sarah there doing Sarah with all her established Sarahness!
Here’s how to run a flawless evening without Sarah:
Create a new WhatsApp group
Not the one where all the girls are but Sarah. A new, add-on called GirlCrew that doesn’t include Sarah AND Rachel, who as we all know, is likely to inadvertently spill the beans. You will be informed of the available last minute night.
Don’t pick a place that you as a group have said you want to go to first. The worst case scenario would then be having to go back again in a short time with Sarah and pretend to experience it all again for the first time.
Iron alibi. Everyone needs to be busy on the night in question, but with things like « turbo diarrhea », « study », « mourning death of pet fish ». Try the stories. Be Meryl Streep when it comes to telling those stories to Sarah.
Someone has to take the hit
To really throw Sarah off, one if not two members of the gang must set up a false flag « secret girls’ outing » to which Sarah is invited. This won’t be a full evening, because it would be unbearable. This can be a quick coffee in step with « out » established as a family lunch, which means that the recovery should only last an hour at most.
Spend the whole evening complaining about Sarah
What better way to spend your well deserved night out without Sarah, truly letting your hair down and doing the entire night on her through the medium of incredibly painful takedowns behind her back.