June 15, 2023 – LATEST NEWS, BUSINESS, LIFESTYLE
YOU might think that paying more and more money on a daily basis for an ever lesser quality cup of coffee puts most people in a bad mood in the morning, but hundreds of thousands of people across the nation have listed it as « the best part of their day ».
« Just that first cup of coffee in the morning really strikes differently. It really sets me up for the day! » beamed a Waterford man we spoke to, who would die instantly of a brain aneurysm if he ever totaled up how much he spends on Americanos over the course of a year.
“€4.20 for a simple black coffee? Sounds reasonable to me,” added another person we spoke to, whose crippling addiction to caffeine has apparently blinded them to the exorbitant price of their drink.
“You wouldn’t like me before my first cup of coffee in the morning! Before that first hit of caffeine, I’m much more likely to be indignant about things like a multinational corporation that makes millions in profits but only contributes about $4,200 in corporate taxes somewhere. But after the coffee, I don’t mind at all,” said one lady we spoke to, shaking as she spoke.
Sadly, not buying a coffee every morning doesn’t seem to be an option in the current climate as everything sucks so much and going through the day without a cup, cigarette or vape is « unthinkable ».
