June 26, 2023 – BREAKING NEWS, WORLD NEWS
A MADCAP, stupid and embarrassing 24 hours in Russia saw Wagner mercenary group leader Yevgeny Prigozhin march troops towards Moscow only to strike a deal that saw him flee to Belarus, a spectacle that severely damaged his position and his grip on power by Vladimir Putin.
However, according to Waterford man and recent Googler of « who’s Mr. Wagner’s army boy? » Cillian Brady, the chaotic shit show proves one thing and one thing only; the continuous genius that Putin possesses.
“He’s smart, he planned it all himself as a way to crack down on critics in Russia,” Brady explained, completely forgetting that not even 5 hours earlier he had claimed it was the work of the CIA.
« No, it’s the CIA’s doing, but of course Putin lets them do it, which is the real genius of the whole thing if you ask me, » added Brady, who wasn’t asked.
Brady went on to explain that while pea-brained Western leaders play checkers, Putin plays 4-d chess as well as simultaneously playing Monopoly, Mousetrap, Cards Against Humanity, and Uno.
The 35-year-old software engineer admitted that while some might review the weekend’s events and conclude that Putin is struggling to maintain control over a crumbling Russian company, that’s not his view.
« The real sign of having 100% control over your people who completely adore you is when you have to keep assassinating them or when a former hot dog vendor leads a rebellion against your army leaders, » concluded Brady, who said also suggested that the Russian leader masterminded the secret payments to Ryan Tubridy as a distraction tactic.
Elsewhere, Prigozhin is expected to enjoy an extended retreat in Belarus provided he never eats or drinks anything, refrains from standing by an open window and sleeps with his eyes open.
