June 14, 2023 – BREAKING NEWS, WORLD NEWS
The leaders of the COLUMBIAN drug cartel have expressed concerns about their ability to deliver enough narcotics to keep Donald Trump Jr. energized ahead of his father’s upcoming trial, WWN has learned.
The 45-year-old hasn’t slept for more than nine days before his father’s indictment on 37 counts of mishandling confidential government documents and is said to be going through brick after brick of gunpowder trying to stream the his every thought on the subject through poorly crafted memes and questionable bites.
Residents living near Trump Jr’s Florida home were asked to ignore the drumming sound of his heart beating out of his chest as he passed multiple Bart Simpson lines at a school blackboard.
“Don Jr. is undergoing what can only be described as Maradona levels,” an aide told us.
« When he’s not on a video call to a Republican news channel without blinking for 5 minutes straight during tirades about those who ‘will suffer when the truth comes out,’ he’s on the phone with his contacts in Colombia to see what the problem is with today’s shipment,” adding, “it’s making so much noise about Donald’s arrest that his father can’t go on ignoring it anymore.”
